‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the land;
Everyone’s ’freakin, too many toys in demand.
That Black Friday deal, didn’t pan out as they’d hoped;
They walked out of Best Buy, empty-handed and groped.
Those darn twinkle lights, they couldn’t get them just right;
Jeff fell off the roof, trying to staple them tight.
Now he’s in bed, a broken ankle on ice;
That’s what you get, for trying to be so precise.
Little Tommy’s situation didn’t fare much better,
He tried to reach Santa with a poorly written letter.
His mom couldn’t decipher, it’s really a shame;
So she’s wrapping a sweater instead of his coveted video game.
They’re fretting o’er seating arrangements for ol’ Christmas dinner,
Will Kathy and Don act civil, not bitter?
They should stash that eggnog, lest it quickly disappear,
Once the liquor starts flowing, it’s like WWE up in here.
It’s no better at the Cohen’s, they’re shvitzing with freight,
Will Szechuan East have a table for eight that night?
If not, what’ll they do? This isn’t a myth,
There’s no place in town to eat on December 25th!
And should they book tickets now for Les Mis?
The theater’ll be packed on Christmas day, gee wiz!
They can’t afford to miss Anne Hathaway in action,
So they’ll go straight to Fandango and make the transaction.
But hey, slow down, did you hear me? Come on!
It’s over before you know it, goodbye, so long.
It’s sometimes a pain, spending the holidays perfecting,
So spend time with your family – reflecting, connecting.
There’s plenty to look forward to in the New Year,
(Besides Jeff’s ankle all well, and all healed).
There’s Nashville! There’s Girls! 30 Rock’s swan song!
Besides the end of the world, really what could go wrong?
What I’m trying to say, is it’s a stressful time of year,
Made all the better with Chinese food and holiday cheer.
So don’t sweat the small stuff as the year comes to an end,
Be gentle and kind and don’t overextend.
We’ll all make it through, whether it’s perfect or not,
As long as it comes from a deep place and deep thought.
Jeff will get better, Tommy will be happy with his sweater,
…At least once he gets that game he’s been after.