It’s October 16, 2012 – just 15 days before we hit the streets in cute (slutty), provocative (skimpy) and hopefully thought-provoking (barely-there) costumes; a day that most of America calls Halloween. While some people have already sewn their way to a 2nd place finish in their annual office Halloween costume contest, the rest of us are wracking our brains, just trying not to have the worst get-up in the room. But rest easy! I’ve put together a list of topical costumes for you to choose from, so there’s no need to dust off that Jon and Kate Plus 8 outfit that was a huge hit at Carrie & Duncan’s party in 2008.
News Events of 2012
- Honey Boo Boo – Y’all know there is going to be at least one Honey Boo Boo costume at every Halloween party this year – do it differently by dressing as a ghost and carrying around a jar of honey all night.
- Fifty Shades of Grey – grey pants, grey shirt, grey sweater, grey jacket, grey scarf, grey hat, DVD copy of The Grey in hand.
- Amanda Bynes – Re-purpose that Lindsay Lohan costume and call it a day.
- Tan Mom – I think you can figure this one out yourself.
- Felix Baumgartner – Now this guy is the definition of topical, as he skydived from space about 3 days ago. All you really need is a space suit, a parachute and hair that is gelled straight up for that “I JUST JUMPED OUT OF A PLANE FROM SPACE!” look.
- Ryan Lochte – Speedo, grill, medals, done.
- Instagram – This doesn’t take a lot of prep, but you will have to have a clear mind and pay attention to your surroundings all night. So get this: You’re out at a party and your friends will be taking lots of pictures. The second you see someone snap a shot, reach into that box of graham crackers you’re holding, hand one to the photographer and say, “Did someone say Insta-Graham?” Nailed it.
- Kim Kardashian & Kanye West – Standard Kim & Kanye. BONUS POINTS if you bring little Mercy with you.
- Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson – Standard Bella and Edward costumes, but look really upset this time (Get it? Cause they always look upset? But this time they really are because she cheated on him with her Snow White and The Huntsman director? Oh forget it, just be Kim and Kanye.)
Polyamorous Couples: The Hunger Games Cast
- Everyone was Katniss last year – but NOT everyone was Katniss and Gale and Peeta!
New Take on an Old Favorite:
- Pregnant Snookie/Mom Snookie – Leopard print miniskirt, slippers, hair poof, pickle, red solo cup and either a basketball in your belly or a Baby Bjorn on your chest — your choice!
- Engaged Jennifer Aniston – ”The Rachel” wig and a black miniskirt, while lugging around a huge diamond ring as if you are a robber carrying a money bag. Like this.
- Girls from Girls – The preppy one, the uptight one, the bohemian, the free spirit. This…sounds…familiar…
- Fab 5 – You got this one: High pony tails with glitter spray, leotards, wrist braces, scrunchies and copious amounts of chalk. BONUS POINTS if Lil’ McKayla Maroney wears that infamous “McKayla is not impressed face” all night.
If You Broke Your Leg Last Week and Your Costume is Ruined:
- Guilt four of your friends into dressing up with you. You’re all the Yankees, but YOU get to be Derek Jeter this time!