Help! I’ve FALLen and I can’t get up!

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I lost my first fantasy football match-up, I can no longer wear white and I ALMOST ordered a hot cup of coffee instead of iced this morning, which means one thing and one thing only: Fall is here, and it’s here to stay. And if you can sense some disappointment in my voice..er..words, you wouldn’t be far off. I love sun, I love sandals and I really love summer, so it’s during this time of year that SAD sets in and (for the sake of this blog) there’s only one thing that can pull me out of my funk — Fall TV. We’ve got new and returning shows premiering this week, and more will roll out as we get deeper and deeper into this hellhole of a season. OK OK OK, I’ll chill out. Once I get my first Pumpkin Spice Latte, I’ll be fine. Check out what you should be watching (or what you should have watched, given that today is Tuesday) this week, below:

Sunday

Sorry, I’m too busy crying about Breaking Bad and The Newsroom being over to recap. The Newsroom tears are strictly tears of happiness, mind you. (I mean, COME ON MAGGIE, you’re the worst!!!!!)

Monday (what you should have watched)

The Voice – Returning for its 3rd season, The Voice is back with its most talented crop of artists yet, at least according to Blake Shelton, who spoke to the Today Show crew about the new season yesterday. Because we’re only one day removed, I won’t spoil anything, except to say that Christina lets it all hang out. Literally and figuratively. 8 pm on NBC.

Katie – She’s smart, she’s cute, she’s Katie! Couric’s first episode was a little rough around the edges (read: awkward) but with an impressive lineup of upcoming guests including fly girl Jennifer Lopez, legend Barbra Streisand and sure-to-give-good-gossip Rafael Solicito (Amanda Knox’s Italian ex), I wouldn’t write this daytime talk show off just yet. Check local listings.

Tuesday

The New Normal – There have been sneak previews online and on the telly, but because 9:30 on Tuesday is it’s normal time slot, it’s sitting pretty right here. I don’t know about you, but I’m rooting for this show. It’s different, it pushes the envelope, and it’s got approximately 19 of my favorite people in it. NeNe Leakes FTW! 9:30 on NBC.

Parenthood – What does every show on the brink of cancellation need? Ray Romano to guest star, of course! Tune in tonight to catch the Bravermans in action. 10 pm on NBC.

*Honorable Mention* – Abby and Brittany – Have you seen this show? About conjoined twins, Abby and Brittany? They’re conjoined twins and they have a show. 10 pm on TLC.

Wednesday

X-Factor – IT’S BRITNEY B*TCH! (ammiright?) 8 pm on FOX.

Guys with Kids – NBC is really in the “sneak peek” business this year, aren’t they? Like Go On and The New Normal before it, NBC is prematurely airing the pilot tonight before it officially starts on September 26. From Exec Producer Jimmy Fallon, the show stars everyone’s favorite teddy bear Anthony Anderson, former Toro Jesse Bradford (If you get that reference, I’ll hug you) and newbie Zach Kregger. For the sake of all things funny, this better be a hit. With Happy Endings moving to Tuesdays this fall, I need my Wednesday belly laughs! 10 pm on NBC.

Thursday

Glee – New night, new format, new Rachel. Back for its 4th season, Glee has a lot to prove given that season 3 was, dare I say it, completely and totally lackluster. I even missed a few episodes and I DIDN’T CARE.  But now it’s back with new faces (thank you Kate Hudson and Sarah Jessica Parker) and new energy and they’re in it to win it and so am I. 9 pm on FOX.

Real Housewives of Miami – Because these ladies are rich and insane and pretty and terrible. 9 pm on Bravo.

*Honorable Mention* Project Runway – I know it’s been on for months, but it’s a good season and I love it so much and I want Christopher to win and Heidi looks fierce and Seal probably doesn’t watch and Elena scares me and in one challenge they had to make clothes in shades of Lexus car colors and I don’t care because Ven’s a horrible person but a good designer and that’s all, OK bye.

Friday

Is there programming on Friday? BRB must check TV Guide.

Saturday

Saturday Night Live – There are two kinds of people in this world. You either love SNL no matter what, or you don’t think it’ll ever be as funny as it was when “your cast” was on. I’m a member of the former and haven’t missed an episode in a severely long time. While I may not be LOLing for the entire hour and a half each week, I watch just in case I do. For its upcoming 38th season (hey, SNL is only one year younger than the PCAs!), we will be treated to three new funny faces (in personality not looks, hopefully) in the wake of Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg’s departures. Bring on the funny, team!

So there you have it, folks – my picks for the unmissable shows of the week. Do you agree? Sound off in the comments below. And while you’re at it, voice your choice in today’s featured poll: Which show returning this week is your favorite?

Glee

Parenthood

The Voice

X Factor

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