Figurative Fathers & Coveted Teens

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So Day Three in the Favorite Dads Department. Don’t forget to check our exclusive ET poll…and also don’t forget about the monsoon of cute that awaits should you Google the phrase “celebrity dad” this week. Actually, you could probably Google it any time of the year, but right now is when they really put the papa in razzi. So now that I’m completely versed in a) exactly what each of Brad Pitt’s kids wears to bed on weekends, b) why Adam Sandler’s daughter  is likely to be a crack poker player, and  c) how critical it is that Ryan Phillippe attends son Deacon’s flag football games, I feel like I can get on with my day. In the next few weeks we’ll discuss the Teen Choice Awards, (but we’ve got some time, they’re August 9th) because it’s dawning on me that if you were a fellow traveling space alien who decided to land on earth for say, an afternoon with a simple mandate to learn everything you could about pop culture – specifically the culture of the American teen – all you really need do is look at the Teen Choice nominees. And get an eyeball’s worth of their (decidedly not teen) host Katy Perry (BTW, she’s engaged to Russell Brand. Funny but foul-mouthed. What’s that Christmas like? Does he behave for her family? ) Anyway, back to your alien  fact-finding sojourn. Just take a peek at the Teen Choice noms list and this will tell you in a nutshell just exactly what the youth of America is  obsessed with right at this very minute. But more on that stuff later. Gorgeous but spelling-challenged Tiffani Thiessen and her hub have welcomed themselves a baby girl, who’s going to go by Harper Renn Smith.  Congratulations. Now I know we’ve discussed him before but here’s more news on the not-always-pleasant-but-usually-diverting topic of Charlie Sheen. Because despite his talents (and possibly even  excellent  fathering skills)  – he’s really really turning out to be a less-than-stellar husband. Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller have officially signed their divorce papers. I know. Who cares? People get divorced every day. But here’s the what. Can your cousin’s recent divorce boast a clause that actually competes with and one-ups a former  divorce settlement? That’s why this feels newsworthy. So now to the numbers (because you asked). How many pages is the doc? 41. How often will Charlie get their kids? First, third and fifth weekend of the month (ok – initially I had trouble getting my brain around the “5 weekends in a month” concept but I did some math and now it makes sense). Continuing on with digits. How much cash will Charlie shell out to Brooke to care for their bambinos? $55,000 a month. But check this out:  the doc’s got a clause about how the money Brooke gets for their kids cannot be less than what Charlie’s already giving his prior wife and their two kids. It’s actually in writing. How’s that for giving it to the First Second Wives’ Club?  (And you know about all those cars of his that keep winding up at the bottom of a ravine?  Either Mercedes is about to announce a massive recall or someone’s not happy with Charlie). So another day in Hollywood divorce court. Which is just, I guess, another day in Hollywood.

Now in keeping with our Dad theme, let’s take a peek at “figurative” fathers. When you ask people about rock n’ roll, they’ll usually tell you someone is the “father” of it. Only, it’s not always the same guy. With this in mind, voice your choice in today’s featured poll and let us know who you think is the real father of rock n’ roll:

1)    Elvis Presley

2)    Chuck Berry

3)    Buddy Holly

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