Today I’d like to chat about two events that took place over the weekend: one I read about, the other I watched firsthand. One was a gentle reminder that people in entertainment can always surprise you, the other a shocking reminder that I may be a tiny bit older than I look.
The first was Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. Is Rush getting married for the fourth time in any way shocking ? Not at all. Is Rush the ultra -conservative talk -radio host hiring the ultra-not-so-conservative Elton John to perform at his nuptials shocking? Absolutely. Reportedly there was a $1 million dollar fee (guess that’s what we call a conservative estimate). But still, it makes one (a.k.a. me) wonder: was this just about cash? Sure, you read about Hollywood celebrities hawking antiperspirant in Japan that nobody knows about (except, um, Japan,) but this feels different. I guess it’s because I assume these two wildly outspoken guys wouldn’t want to be within seven states of one another, let alone celebrating with ivory-tickling & toasts (although we know what they say about “assuming”). Then yesterday it dawned on me – what if they’re really just buddies who genuinely respect one another’s talent? And what if this landmark coming together was actually a rare example of nontraditional cooperation in the spirit of something traditionally joyous (someone’s wedding)? Suddenly I realized that maybe we were teetering on the precipice of a new era of goodwill/cooperation/compassion and all that. And I felt silly for even being shocked by any of it. Until I watched this weekend’s second event, wherein I realized that regardless of being silly, maybe what I really am is, um, less-than-young. The MTV Movie Awards were a funny, amazingly over–the-top tribute to Judd Apatow, hormonal excess and the true power of hawt. Plus, I learned 3 things: 1) Strict parenting stays with you, because after all these years, the “F” word – effective when you stub your toe in a bedroom at night – still makes me nervous when used on live TV. 2) Sandra Bullock, ubiquitous today having endured a dreadful few months, still remains funny, charming, and ultra-entertaining when used on live TV. She was the best part of the evening, and the show’s producers were super-smart to include her, because now there isn’t a single person on this planet who doesn’t know what kind of class this girl’s got. And finally 3) when watching something like this, if you don’t happen to be a 14-year old boy, make sure you have one handy to translate all verbiage between a) the bleeped-out words and b) the Twilight-elicited squeals. Full disclosure: while I’m obviously not part of the MTV Generation, I am an unabashed Twilight fan so I drank the Kool-aid and tuned in, eager to catch the sneak-peek of Eclipse (which, and I’m trying hard not to squeal, looks pretty damn hawt). The show also boasted a hilarious Betty White (because again, they’re not stupid), and genuinely affecting words from the The Hangover guy who never seems to wear much clothing (because again, I’m not young). Plus, at the risk of splitting yet another atom, I think we can agree that Aziz Ansari has a very nice future ahead of him. All in all, a pretty wild ride. But fun, and I’m sure glad I watched. And if you’ve ever wondered about the phrase “Know your audience” know that, beyond a doubt, MTV really, really does. That said, as I write this I am enroute to a gym and to my local plastic surgeon. And who knows, maybe I’ll encounter someone there from Rush Limbaugh’s wedding who can tell me once and for all if Elton John was just in it for the money.
1) Ed Helms & Ken Jeong
2) Sandra Bullock
3) Rob & Kristen
4) Tom Cruise