Charlie Sheen’s Alter Ego: Scot Free

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Thanks for the great feedback yesterday about CNN’s 30th anniversary. Although many of you just couldn’t resist bringing up the dreaded P-word. You know, politics. Even though I hoped we could steer clear of them (we were talking about the launch of a network for pity’s sake) it came up in the comments  – big time — which tells me that either a) nobody listens to my suggestions,  b) everyone listened but they forgot when they started typing, or c) the overwhelmingly powerful sense of civic duty draped in an American flag  that prompts people to burst forth with ideological commentary is so darned strong you couldn’t control yourselves. Oh wait. Actually, come to think of it, that whole free speech thing is pretty much what this country was founded upon. So scratch that &  comment all you want. My bad. Plus, in reality, it doesn’t matter – particularly since everyone voted for Anderson Cooper and I’m 99.999% sure that you suddenly threw political considerations to the wind and just went with the hot guy. No shame there. So in the world of midweek entertainment news, with everyone in Hollywood battling legal woes, the fellow we really need to be talking about is Charlie Sheen. The one guy who keeps getting into trouble but who just pops right back up, unscathed and richer than ever. Now I know he’s beloved, and I too find him very talented, but every time I loiter near a water cooler I invariably hear someone say “Why doesn’t Charlie Sheen  ever get into real trouble? Why does he always slip by?” Entertainment Weekly devotes  entire articles to this very question. Which made me wonder why we’re so willing to apply the old warp-speed-forgive-&-forget. Then, because it’s Charlie Sheen, we rinse & repeat. And then I read about the situation and I immediately had the answer: no one takes his case seriously because of the language used to describe the mess he’s made. Here’s what I mean:  according to CNN (because it’s their birthday)  “Aspen police charged Sheen with …a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief after a dispute between Sheen and his wife, at their holiday home”. Okay. For starters, let’s look at the term “criminal mischief”. Why use a word to describe something super serious, when in fact the only time “mischief” comes up in daily parlance is when a) your grandmother warns you to steer clear of it, b) when describing the not-serious commercial bonanza that is Halloween, or c) when you’re looking for a cute name for a new cat? I have trouble believing that when lawyers charge Charlie Sheen  (or anyone else, for that matter) with “mischief” they can keep a straight face. So let’s find a better legal term to replace “mischief”, if we really want to get our point across. The second curiously worded phrase comes as we hear about Mr. And Mrs. Sheens’ “Holiday Home”. What is a holiday home? Who has a holiday home? Is this a summer home? Nope. Is it a ski-house? Not the phrase used. They said specifically “holiday home”. Is it made out of gingerbread?  Is a holiday home where you go to cause “mischief”? The whole thing baffles me. Will he go to jail? Who knows. If he does, he’ll go for about Two and A Half Weeks and then he’ll be back on set, earning in an hour what 4 American families earn in a year. Which could, I suppose, buy a whole lot of holiday homes.

Now voice your choice in today’s featured poll and tell us which Charlie Sheen movie is your favorite:

1)    Wall Street

2)    Platoon

3)    Hot Shots

4)    Major League

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